Friday, March 20, 2009

Sometimes given the space and time i feel like i'm in outer space here. there is nothing much that can be done nor anything that can be done. i'm only here for another sem whih this gives me a mix feeling. i fee lost... like a little child in this world. still wondering what can be done and what should be done. what can i bring with me and what i cnanot bring wit me. it seems that the answer is right in front of me. everything in this life seems like a dream. a chapter of my life is continous from the other on what effort that i put in. its like pieces of puzzle except that some part of it will never been seen and fade away after sometime.
someday somehow when time start to pass slowly in this dream like world here there is nothin that i can do except savour every single moment. the minute i leave this place then everything will be like a dream. no contact from outer space. what buddha said is right everything in this world is changing and there is nothing that i can do about it. nothing at all. memories will fade... nothing seems to be real anymore... but why am i clinging on to somethingthat would never be there? all my friends would leave this place by end of this sem and that is the memories..... i dono how much more memories which i want to create because to think is truely hurtful to think that i have to leave all this behind.... that is life i still do not understand... there is still so much to explore so much to see yet i'm confine in this mind of mine.... why does all this have to happen. wat is holding me back? why?
when everything seems to be coming to an end..... intoxicating mself with the pleasure that i get now does not help atall.... it makes the wound harder to heal or become pain...... this 1 year here is sort of like my best time in life and there had been so much things that i haddone which i would never had done before if i'm in kl..... alot of comfort zone is removed... i have to face the world alone...... |

Monday, December 01, 2008

playing in the stock market would be very new to all of us especially tthose that had just graduated and aspire to be warren buffet the second or george soros the second. the market it seems to me to be very big and often a complex and complicated place to be trading. you cannot much predict what is going to happen nor will you be able to use past pattern to predict what is going to happen in the future. if there is all this true and real stories about what is going to happen ths i guess that economy crisis would not had happen in the first place and that many poeple would not be lossing in the stock market exchange or forex and jumping down from the highest tower. what warren buffett say is really true. risk is only when you do not know what you are doing and this is not only in the stock market world it also happen in your daily life. what i realise is that stock market world and the life around us is all the same. it is just waiting for you to find out the connection in between and bring them togather. they are actually not as complicated as it always seem at first. like my favourite saying it is only hard when you do not put in enough effort in it. well let me give a qoute from the book that i had just read.it is taking about the market and it had suddenly enlighten me that the market is not at all that complicated.
" Ben Graham my friend and teach long ago describe the mental attitude towards market fluctuations that i believe to be the most conducive to investment sucess. he said that you should imagine market quotationi as coming from a remarkably accommodating fellow name Mr. market who si your partner in a private business. Without fail mr market appears daily and names a price at which he will either buy your interest or sell you his.
eventhough the business that the two of you may have economic characteristic that are stable, Mr Market's quotation will beanything but for sad to say the poor fello has incurable emotional problems . at times he falls euphoric and can see only the favourable factor affecting the business. when in that mood he names a very high buy-sell price because he fears that you will snap up his interest and rob him of imminent gains. At othe times he is depressed and can see nothing but trouble ahead for both the business and the world. Onthose occassion he will name a very low price, since he is terrified that you will unload your interest to him.
Mr market has another endearing characteristic he doesn't minf being ignored if his quotation is uninteresting to you today. he will be back with a new one tomorrow. if his quotation is uninteresting to you today, he will be back with a new one tomorrow. Transection are strictly at your option. under these condition the more manic depressive his behavior the better for you.
But like cinderella at the vall you must heed one warning or everything will turn into pumpkins and mice; Mr. market is there to serve you not to guide you. It is his pocketbook not his wisdom that you will find it useful. If he shows up someday in a particular foolish mood you are free to either ignore him or take advantage of him. but it will be disasterous if you fall under his influence. indeed if you aren't certain that you understand and can value your business far better then Mr. Market you don't belong in the game. As they say in poker," if you been in the game 30 minutes and you don't know who the patsy is, you are the patsy." From warren buffet...
very nice and interesting to read it sort of like enlighten me on the spot on what market is about and sort of reminds me on what i usually do when i play a game. in the online game there is always a market where you are able to sell your stuff. you are free to ignore it or take advantage of it. and the same thing applies here that people cant ake advantage of you too if you are not careful. you are the market and the market is you. there are alot of people around to sell things that can help you improve your damages and increase your defences (the same theory as in providing more wealth and also defending your wealth) anyway you can always choose to buy it or learn about the product and think about would it increase the price in the future or the price would actually decrease. but then if you are not in the game for a long time you would actually out of the game. you would need to start all over again to learn about the product that you are going to buy. apply it in you would actually study the price of the product the normal market price before you would actulaly go into it and put your both hand to buy.
lets put it into real life situation. in life when you were to buy something you would actually go around to shop for prices. assuming that we were to take handphone for example. we would actually go from shop to shop to gain information on what sort of model have what sort of function and what is the price of that particular model comparing it with another model and of course with another brand. then you would actually know roughly that if the model for that function that it is offering it is too expansive or it is worth to buy. this it the same for the stock market. but the information you would get would be from the financial statement which you would need to read it though to see if they are earning per stock is on the rise or not. gain a few copany and look through it compare it from the same company that is doing the same business or almost the same business compare the both of them and see. i think that would be the first step to actually know what is the price of a company before even you were to start buying the stock of the company. once you would know what sort of price the company would be at around what time then you would roughly know if the company is underprice or over price at that time. those are the time when Mr. Martket come knocking on your door asking if you are willing to trade this company stock.
There are times when Mr. Market have mood swings (as it happens guys do have more mood swing then females as it is scientifically proven) there are times when he is in the bad mood and it would offer prices that are up for grabs offers that is lower then the market value like sales. malaysia is having the grand sames now and some items might be under value. this is a very personal opinion as some people might think that the product is undervlue and worth buying and therefore would exchange the product with money. but this needed to be think carefully as there are some product even they are on sales they are just not worth buying. even if they are brough they are not useful and this will actually depreciate the asset capital as it does not help to earn or improve efficiency in daily life. when stock market is having depression it is almost the same as the store world wide is having great sales. but it is up to you to pick up your bargain as the value of the product would differ from one to another. study the product carefully and udnerstand the bargain that you are getting into for some are life time investment.
no matter what hapen the final desicion would still be yours. Mr market is only there to offer you with the option but you are the one who make the desicion. so when things goes sour you shall not point finger and say that mr market had con you out of your money. well the reason you would be con is that you had not study the product throughly enough to see that mr market is scaming you of your wealth.but anyway you would still learn from the scam that mr market had laid down for you to understand what you had gone wrong and learn to recognise it next time. (provided that you are not afraid from the last scam to do business with mr market again)
well of course like most marketter would be able to influnce you to do what they want you to do that is to buy their produt. they would be able to list a million good things about their product but if it is really good it is up to you to do your research and find out. do not let mr market influence you in your desicion but instead have your own opinion. and only if your opinion is the same as mr market then you can look into what mr market would offer. I think this would be very relevant to people who have compulsive buying behaviour (especially shoperholic) they should learn to see what they really need then only look out for offer that would enable them to buy the same product with the same usage for less the price that other people are offering. like that they not only able to save more they are able to buy more with the limited money that they got... yeah !!!!
of course in the game i only take onte on what is happening to my character job and what going on with other charcter job i would not be interested because i would not be buying the armour or the weapon that is other job is selling. but then if i were to sell other job weapon or armour i would need to gain such information. so always look into the business that you are relatively understands or expose to. it would be easier to study the product that you already know then to start all over with a product that you have no idea with. same with stock market look into the company that you had already know or being expose to. like that it would save the job of researching into them since you had already always been looking into their news and know what is going on in their company.

thoughful
Jasmin |

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Hi people i'm in my new campus in miri. actually it is a wonderful place. so people that are studying in curtin university i strongly recommend that you would come here to study. (infact it is cheaper then over there even though taking into consideration of all the living expense) so people i would like to announce for once I AM STUDYING IN A UNIVERSITY ALREADY NOT A COLLEGE.
well while waiting for my friends to come out from the lecture theater on the orientation breifing (which i'm not feeling guilty of skipping) i am sitting in the garden of wonderful flowers. there i saw the sand and soil and some solidified soils and also my itchy hands came to play with them and break them into smaller units. then suddenly i hit a hard solidified *rock* and i use my hand to pick it up. out of curosity i use it to hit on the hard concreate divider. the rock did not give way.
But after a few tries the rock did give way and parted into 2 parts and inside of it it is all just pure soil and therefore i concluded that this is a piece of rock that had been made up of smaller particle of soil and sand with the combination of the sun, pressure of the atmosphere and also the main ingredient would be the water that bring those thing togather.
Then i would conclude that the rocks are made out of all this solidified soil that had been under the pressure of the earth for a long long time at least a million of years to make it called a rock. (well maybe this had been long time known to man kind but forgive me for a late realisation as i'm abit less smart then the general population)
Suddenly a though struck me and i though about the wind and the sun and the water that is able to break a rock. Through this strong and extreame weather. those sun and water are able to break a rock.
Funny thing when i think back about it. you need water and sun and pressure to make such rock but you also need sun and water to break those rock. then that make me think again. if that is the case then what makes you would be able to kill you or split you into half for the case of the rock. What don kill you makes you stronger does not work anymore cause what does not kill you is just cause you are not made out of that substance. ( i'm already in my own world tlaking gibblish)
so i wonder if this theory apply to humans or not. human are such complax subtances that no one in this world are able to tell wat we are made up of.tisus that made up cells that made up organ that made up to a whole complex human. the one that are able to fend for itself, to think for itself, that one that always bully the weaker species. but come to think of it if say any part of the body that is not functioning the way it is suppose to function then it would also die off.
[people say that human are god greatest creation which maybe i will not agree to it.Human are just like rocks.with all sort of factor that combine at that time combining all sort of things evolving slowly from sand to some solidific rocks to rocks then to combine all rocks to become a great cliff. human would start from the microorganism to evolve slowly and surely. it would take a million of years to have a cliff to exsist and so is human.
looks like rocks and human have all the same thing in comman but the only difference is the subtances that are used to create. the same thing that create rock and kill it off (that is of course if there is life in the rock which allows me to use the word kill). i wonder if the same growing organism can kill us off maybe it can by creating cancerous cells other unknown to man kind sickness. with this i guess those that create us can be use to kill us off.
Wat creates you can kill you if you are not careful. i had presented my case and with this i rest my case. |

Friday, May 02, 2008

Today my parents had been to macau. and i'm left all alone in the house. it keep me thinking what happen... just what happen if anything happen to my parents what would i be? how would i live my life? would i be able to support myself and my sibling with all the college and stuff? what would i do. Or what happen if my parents decided that i'm big enough and they should throw me out of the house at this moment and what am i left with is just my bank book and some unit trust.
to tell you the truth i'm bad at crisis management i seriously do not know what to do. with me here writting i hope i would be able to think of something about it. Lets get started by writting down the comitment that i had.
1) college for me my sister and my brother
2) electricity bills water bills and etc
3) i'm not sure if my parents finish paying the morgage

what revenue had i got
serious i got no job no working experience i got nothing to tell the truth

so i'm facing a death end loads of expenses and no revenue generating... what am i suppose to do?
work? to earn enough to pay off everything?

lets look at the senario where my parents were to throw me out of the house
my comitment would be my studies
rental of a place to stay

revenue
non

i guess everything would have to start from square one.
i would need to work parttime for most of my semester and on top of everything i would need to break off every sem to work until i had enough money to pay off for my college fees.
if i were to work in any normal shop i guess i would be able to get about like say 1k per month. but if i work like say part time maybe i would get like 5dollars an hour depending on how much i work

so lets talk about school fees
revenue would be 1k
but for everymonth i would need to pay off the rental and food
say one month my rental is 300 per room
foor and etc i guess about 300 would be enough provided there is no luxury food
transportation to work maybe take bus which is like say 50 a month
expense would be 650

one month i would be able to save about say 350
my college fees is about 11k per semester how much do i need to pay if off. i need about 31 months to fork out that money. my goodness who would be able to pay my school fees is almost impossible to work and study at the same time without your parents paying for you plus the inflation and everything. my god i don think i would be able to survive

if say my parents meet and accident and passaway
expenses
sis college - 12000/year
brother college- 12000/year
mine - 13000/year
assuming that the house morgage id fully paid
bills - 300/month so is 36000/year
i haven add food

total expense a semester is
73000 per year
revenue- non
maybe at that time i would sell the car say 20 000
sell off the piano say 5000
sell what ever i can sell to survive the first year
maybe i stop studying and start working
brother and sis have to work for their own food
maybe with that we can barely survive
maybe i would move into a smaller house renting this house out

no matter how i count or calculate it just do not have enough to survive. parents are so important... seriously like an atm before we are able to be fully independent. which indepedent doesn't come with age but by the earning power thatyou have. with this i learn to value parents more |

Thursday, May 01, 2008

I been poudering on this question for a very long time. Should girls (as in me fat one especially) be going on a diet? What is a diet? does it had a defination of it. well according to wikipedia dieting means that control the consuption of food intake to control body weight and nutrient. Why do people want to diet in the first place. Lets look at the world at the developing country.
Recently there is a report stating that obesity is on the rise. And it is really a matter to be concern. because obesity can cause alot of health problem like high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes and etc basically it is one of the reason why human die earlier nowadays. Well , that was meant for youngster like me like my peer group. Well the problem had been so bad that it is now about 1 in every about 5 kids are obese. haih... now lets look at the food consuption that they had. mcdonald for breakfast, mcmuffin for inbetween lunch and breakfast, lunch have pasta (cream base), tea have roast chicken and dinner we have pizza supper we have hokkien mee. woh that is alot of fat ain't it is not a surprise when such finding makes it way to the news paper. well as far as i am concern what i think is this. people especially in the city have earn enough to buy all this "nutrienal" food for their children and they want the best for them. steak and pizza have loads of minerals no douth about that but haven you guys heard about too much of anything is enough to kill anyone. what about the good old vegetable that grandma used to feed us with? "bubt my precious baby boy doesn't like to eat vege" right on target so parents don want to see their child unhappy. so the just feed them with faterning food. Be my guest and when your baby have health problem who do you blame? then it would start a whole series of dieting. well... too much food in this rich society poor little african babies where some have to die cause lack of food.
Some poeple diet cause of health problem what about the girls. yes i can see you smilling yes i mean the girls that willing to vomit out everything that they had eatn. the girls that would rather die then not taking the sliming pills. the girls that is competiting on who is thiner then the lamppost outside my house yes you. What is dieting to you then? to make yourself think so that you can wear all the glamourous night grown? Well people i been thinking really hard about this society and the thin girls. Well i been thinking really hard.if there no invention of mirror would you be able to look at how fat you are? would you be able to see how ugly you look. Well i think god had not invented mirror for this purpose. To me my body is just a container to put my mind in to help me do what ever i want to help me acheive what my mind want to achieve so why do i bother with the dieting if that is my purpose? does it matter on how pretty i look? does it matter on how thin i can be? well you see i once saw a old women which she has sagging boobs sagging arms and of corse sagging buttocks. i was thinking i would look like that one day and it would be 10 times uglier then how am i now. so why should i be bothering about my looks. what is important is that whatever that is inside of me that shines to the outer layer. if i were to concentrate on my inside out then no matter how ugly i am i would still be pretty cause of the value i had inside. right? but that is not what the society thinks nowadays. slim is pretty and there are like a million store outlets there only make size for really small people. and how about those that is fat people they don have much to wear except for over size tshirt. and that is so unfair to them. I do agree that 1st impression counts and seeing a overly fat people would not help much with the 1st impression and that is how people got their job in an job interview. so now what. what i think about contradict totally with the view of the society. should i diet or not?
should i be happy and contented with who am i? or i shall continue on my quest to be a skeleton before i was put to rest underground? somehow i feel this world that i'm living in always contradict with what ever theory that religion come out with. you should be happy with that you have. thank god for what you have. but the socety goes like you are not thin enough to be my friend. well wait till you are thinner before you come to my shop to shop for cloths cause you know what no matter now many xxl pants that you tried it just won't fit you. people wat do you think? |

Thursday, March 20, 2008

i recently feel that i had change alot... i dono why but i just feel that i'm not the gul that i used to be.. people change i know but for the better or worst only they know. but for me i feel that i had change into some what worst i guess... i can feel the changes in me and i start to think about what would i be like in another say 5 years time. i feel that within the time frame of just short 2 years (collage life) i had change so drasticly that i cannot believe it. there is good things that i had change and also the bad things. but of course like people say there is good and also there is bad. just that how you want to see it only when there is bad ther eis also good. there is just no other way. you cannot just keep the good and throw away the bad cause they come in the package.
i think the change started only recently maybe say since i join msc.. i feel that i had be less responsible over things already. that is not the image i want to potray to the juniors but dono somehow one way or another i don really care what is happening in the club anymore maybe that is why i'm less responsible. maybe this is what happen when you lost your passion for something which you really like and when you lost your passion everything just dissapear with it. lost of motivation to do anything.
i dono what is wrong with me but i feel that suddenly i lost interest in study. i lost interest in everything that i do. why is it like that. why had i lost interest? is it that i had lost the wheel that is moving inside of me? is it that i had lost sight on what is gona happen in the next 5 years? i really dono. all i know is that recently my head is bursting and nothing interest me anymore. this is one of the changes which i don want it to happen. i wish that someone would tell me what is happening to me.no one can tell me the problem why why is this happening to me? why....
what is wrong with me. i become so emotionless. last time i use to be so cheerful but now i feel so emotionless. nothing angers me nothing make me happy nothing make me sad. i'm just another walking machine which people think that i'm a high acheiver. can do almost everything that is assign to me. is it the msc thingy that is making me like that... if its so please tell what should i do. i do not want to continue to be like that. i want to continue to like that i study. i want to continue to get good grades. i want to continue to graduate with a distinction.....
i'm so lost and confuse...

lost in confusion
jasmin |

Monday, March 17, 2008

finally after excruciating months of desicion(actually only about 1 month but it seem like forever) i had decided to resign from the Metro Student Council as a vice president(curtin) and i'm going to officially hand in my resignation letter on wednesday. somehow i feel so much happier about it. i just cannot wait till that time time just another day from today. well i had finally let myself off the hook of an ineffiecient lousy and selfish leader. people around me had always ask me why jasmin why had you not resign? why you can put up with him for all the silly things that this arrogant leader had put you through. well so after must discussion with my fellow friends i had decided to leave.
well not only that surprissingly alot more people had plan to leave.with this i would leave with another 3 of my member. we are not going to hand the the letter at the same time but then about the same time. it is about 4 days different but then again 2 on weekends and 2 on public holiday so it is like 2 working days. i dono how is he gona react. maybe he feel that he had fought a lossing battle but then again i had once and again told him about what i think about the organisation and he did never want to listen to me. why... why is this person capable of being a leader. why cause of luck i had such "great" leader. well, actually come to think of it i had regret every single day why i had not taken control of the whole thing. why had i land myself up in such a misery. he had not earn my respect but demand for respect. this kind of respect can never last and therefore i had lost all my respect for him in every single action that he do every single word that he said.
that day was the collage orientation night. well grats jasmin you had once land yourself in hot soup. well let me tell you about it. i had been there that day about half an hour late (because i had to buy something for the decoration) he had not said hi to me and everything i tried to explain why am i late he never listen to me. fine so be it. so i end up sitting down and drink tea and see what i can help. so most of the time i spend time in the student department blowing balloons and cut some stars and etc. he would be in bad mood seeing me there laughing myself out (jealous maybe to see that i had a great time doing things) ask me to go out to help out in the concourse. and there i went to help out and what i see is there is no work for me to do. and therefore i ask what can i help. they say nothing. fine then let it be nothing. i sat at the concourse for sometime and went back to the student department to tied up the balloon. after a while, he slam the door and came in shouting (ot my junior of couse he never tlak to me) why is there no one in the concourse to help out with the work! and therefore once again i go to the concourse to find alot more people ther doing work. lol... i wonder what sort of things is he playing but all i know he is not happy with me nor is he talking to me.
somehow one way or another i feel that he is intimidated by me. lol maybe he thinks that i'm a more capable leader then he is and his ego just let in the way. well, i had not come to take over his position he can hug to his grave if he likes but i just want him to know what i think about this organisation how it would work. and why i think that the way he manage it had not work. he refuse to listen to me. fine...but this is a massage to him
to my dear leader,
i had never one day never respect you as a leader. even though i don respect you but somehow i respect the seat. i respect you as a president(even though that is because the other person din't want the post) but you are still the president. you had not think for the benefit of the club but think for yourself. you had not think about your members but think of the convience for yourself. you had not learn the way of how the organisation should had work. let me point out to you what i think you did that make the organisation down and why i had resign.
1) there is no sense of planning in any of your project *you had never plan ahead looking into what you expect and work towards those difficulties that you think you would face. there is simply no reason for you to plan right cause you said once and i never forget it you plan we work. dear president if one fine day you were to find a sucessful company with has no future planing no goal and still work please do let me know i would love to learn from them*
2) you had no respect for your members* you had never respect your members place and space. you expected them to be there are your convience like last minute notice to a meeting and you expect everyone to be there. how can you be like that. with this you had drain everyone energy when recieving your message. do you think that everytime i recieve your message i feel so energyless. yes you should try. and if you found any company that don plan meeting in advance like say 2days before hand unless really emergency please do let me know i would want to try and see how they do it.
3)there is no goal no motivation *dearest president you had provided no sense of direction, no goal and if you want people to work like you plan they do it is no point so pointless. people here all learn to plan to see what happen if they were to do such things what would happen. you had not listen to the members idea or opinion everything is you say they do. do you think it would create a sense of belonging? it would only create a sense of slavary. if you can find any company that is efficient that treat their employees like that please do let me know*
4) you don understand the meaning of hierarchy *don get me wrong with this. this doesn't mean that i would not do anything that is below me. you said that you everytime ask for volunteer but again do you understand why the post is there for. there is certain job scope for that certain people to do. so when there is a work to be done we should refer to the person that is at that certain position. but if only and if that person is not free then only should you ask for volunteer. if my respected president would find a sucessful company have such way of working things out please do let me know.

this is my final confrontation. be it you listen or not i would still be leaving you as i know there is no way that i can continue working with you.hope you can gain something from this.maybe you think i'm just below you and therefore i'm opinion is not valid so my dear president it is your choice

with love
jasmin |