Friday, March 20, 2009

Sometimes given the space and time i feel like i'm in outer space here. there is nothing much that can be done nor anything that can be done. i'm only here for another sem whih this gives me a mix feeling. i fee lost... like a little child in this world. still wondering what can be done and what should be done. what can i bring with me and what i cnanot bring wit me. it seems that the answer is right in front of me. everything in this life seems like a dream. a chapter of my life is continous from the other on what effort that i put in. its like pieces of puzzle except that some part of it will never been seen and fade away after sometime.
someday somehow when time start to pass slowly in this dream like world here there is nothin that i can do except savour every single moment. the minute i leave this place then everything will be like a dream. no contact from outer space. what buddha said is right everything in this world is changing and there is nothing that i can do about it. nothing at all. memories will fade... nothing seems to be real anymore... but why am i clinging on to somethingthat would never be there? all my friends would leave this place by end of this sem and that is the memories..... i dono how much more memories which i want to create because to think is truely hurtful to think that i have to leave all this behind.... that is life i still do not understand... there is still so much to explore so much to see yet i'm confine in this mind of mine.... why does all this have to happen. wat is holding me back? why?
when everything seems to be coming to an end..... intoxicating mself with the pleasure that i get now does not help atall.... it makes the wound harder to heal or become pain...... this 1 year here is sort of like my best time in life and there had been so much things that i haddone which i would never had done before if i'm in kl..... alot of comfort zone is removed... i have to face the world alone...... |