Thursday, March 20, 2008

i recently feel that i had change alot... i dono why but i just feel that i'm not the gul that i used to be.. people change i know but for the better or worst only they know. but for me i feel that i had change into some what worst i guess... i can feel the changes in me and i start to think about what would i be like in another say 5 years time. i feel that within the time frame of just short 2 years (collage life) i had change so drasticly that i cannot believe it. there is good things that i had change and also the bad things. but of course like people say there is good and also there is bad. just that how you want to see it only when there is bad ther eis also good. there is just no other way. you cannot just keep the good and throw away the bad cause they come in the package.
i think the change started only recently maybe say since i join msc.. i feel that i had be less responsible over things already. that is not the image i want to potray to the juniors but dono somehow one way or another i don really care what is happening in the club anymore maybe that is why i'm less responsible. maybe this is what happen when you lost your passion for something which you really like and when you lost your passion everything just dissapear with it. lost of motivation to do anything.
i dono what is wrong with me but i feel that suddenly i lost interest in study. i lost interest in everything that i do. why is it like that. why had i lost interest? is it that i had lost the wheel that is moving inside of me? is it that i had lost sight on what is gona happen in the next 5 years? i really dono. all i know is that recently my head is bursting and nothing interest me anymore. this is one of the changes which i don want it to happen. i wish that someone would tell me what is happening to me.no one can tell me the problem why why is this happening to me? why....
what is wrong with me. i become so emotionless. last time i use to be so cheerful but now i feel so emotionless. nothing angers me nothing make me happy nothing make me sad. i'm just another walking machine which people think that i'm a high acheiver. can do almost everything that is assign to me. is it the msc thingy that is making me like that... if its so please tell what should i do. i do not want to continue to be like that. i want to continue to like that i study. i want to continue to get good grades. i want to continue to graduate with a distinction.....
i'm so lost and confuse...

lost in confusion
jasmin |