Thursday, September 27, 2007

recently i dono why bt i do feel very down... do not ask me... it is a holiday but somehow i feel that going to collage might be better... recent i also do not know
Holiday is like rushing off to finish your work and i have a pile of work that has not been touch and i know that i'm in trouble... i don want anymore... i want to give up my president place is too much pressure... it is killing me... i had no support from anyone... i do not know what to do... i do not know if i can build the club... where is my spirit of building the club... i understand the pressure that matt had gone through now... feel like crying but no place to cry...
I wonder where are my friends... why why it seems like this 3 months i got no friends... where have they gone? they do not want me anymore? maybe... maybe i had never been a good friend to them... so how? i got no friends...
I want to give up... give up my homework there is almost no way i can finish my work... i'm tired down by so much responsibility who is gona help me? is like alot of authority but again power come with great responsibility... who is gona help me... i dono i think no one... they might seem to look at me like i can handle anything that falls down... but can i? i'm just a normal human not a super individual there is a limit on what i can take in... and i think i take in more then what i can handle...
my relationship... i'm so confuse... maybe is just me... got a bf like no bf... so far away.. far far away... just want to try something different like having breakfast and i got all sort of complain like say being force to wake up this early to come out... force... lol what a word force to come out see me... complain of lousy breakfast... complain of everything that is there... complain that he will be sleepy... i haven seen him for whole week and i know he is busy... just wake up 1 hour earlier does it hurt him... just be with me for one hour does it really does that kind of hurt so much... i dono what to do anymore... it feels like there is no support from him...i'm supporting myself and him as well... i'm carrying 2 weight on me... can i handle it... can my body handle it... he said i don understand him but how much have a find out about me... my recent responsibilities... have he even ask about it.. have he even try to help me out... answer is a clear no...
i want to get away... go shopping... one day just me and some girl friends... but once again who is free... no one... i guess i'm the only one free in this world... i don feel like doing anything so get out of my life... |