Sunday, June 05, 2005

today of all times i went to sumi longdon meditation camp... haih i don feel like going as i don know anyone there but then i force myself there and lucky i did cause i get ti meet up with last year ydc camp friends... happy!!!
i reach there and i was alone and pratically i know no one there...except zhen yuan... haih but he and me also nothing much to talk about one la... no difference... anyway i went in feeling abit out of place but then the sjba people start to came in then we say hello... we know each other from camp... hahahha happy
who told you that meditation is for old people... we young people need it more then old people... we use to rush off in life not noticin what happening around us... rush off to success... rush to the opportunity not noticing that there is more to life then just rushing.... the most important thing i learn in this camp is that our exsistance is important cause we exsist.... hahahha don understand??? we exsist to make this cycle complete...exsist to appreciate nature... how many of you pratically notice that the bird chipping like an orchastra... some monk can... without those thing nature can be really beautiful like what the japanise notice...
sometimes we rush off to fast not noticing what is happening around us and finally we got what we want but then whats the point.... when we finally acheive what we want we find there is some emptyness inside us... this emptyness often came with the question what is the point of life?? especially in buddhist point when after all you done you just return to square one... to a christian... i think it would be the same... whats the point of working so hard when after you die you just return to dust... whats the point of having everything you want or need...after working so hard to get material stuff to keep you warm and all you feel is not contentment but craving for more stuff... or when you get everything in the world you will feel lonely feel empty.. whats the point of living when you don even know whats the meaning of life... let is be human or animal.... so the point she is tryin to delieve here is to enjoy small moments like this let it be a walk in the park or maybe let it be just sit down and observe what is happening around you... what is changing...
in the camp i got a friend that i know last year in camp chung lern... he also feel what i feel... whats the point of life?? serious... i think we are facing some mid life crisis now... hahahah but then she never give us answer cause she herself also don have the answer... chung lern is facing some emtpyness... he got everything.. friends.... result... whatever he want... but y do he still feel empty... maybe like me... still don know whats the meaning of living.... but i've been thinking maybe that to live here is to make other people life better.... i think from now that will be my meaning to life... |